i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
