I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm getting married
To pizza
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
