Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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