Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
