drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Randomize
