I wish I could punch you in the face.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
All the doctor said was why
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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