Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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