I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
