yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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