Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize