I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
