The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
