If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
