Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
