im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
