Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
