My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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