The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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