he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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