Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize