I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
sex in a hospital.. check
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
