Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
