I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
