Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
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