i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Oh god it's open bar.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
