So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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