Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
