hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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