I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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