I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
