I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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