the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
