I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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