I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
