Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
