after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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