I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
