He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
