I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
