i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
