the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize