3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
