just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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