Say something about gay babies.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
