It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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