she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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