I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
