No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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