She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Randomize
