Please, let me fuck your mom
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
