Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
