I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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