I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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