It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
