Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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