And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
its not stalking. its research.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
