I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
