bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize