Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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