great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
