I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
