is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
