did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
