even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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