All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
