Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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