i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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